It’s raining again
My jazz playlist is out. The rains are back in Hyderabad. It’s my most favorite time of the year, but it is also the most chaotic the city gets. The rains leave us in a limbo. And unlike Mumbaikers who have mastered the art of just moving through the rains, we’re still learning the ropes.
This morning I scrambled to find an auto to get to work, a change from the usual bike I take to work. I had to book something at a 2x rate but I was just glad to be in the office on time. It meant I would leave work on time.
In terms of the musings that strike us as we step out into the real world, I found myself reminiscing about what made me fall in love with the city. In terms of weather, I love the rain. But with Delhi, it was a different feeling. The heat makes it unbearable and you can’t help but crave it. In Hyderabad though it is a longing that turns into a wistful sort of daydream.
I romanticize things. I know that about me. But the cynical me hasn’t allowed me to stray from my regular path that I think I’m gonna let it run wild. I want to be more intuitive and see what I can and cannot do. I want to be able to be myself and own my story. Own my digressions and be okay with my choices. I am the way I am because of all the little experiences I had as I grew up. They make me me and they make me real.
The rains are a strange time though, one moment youre marvelling at the rains and the next you’re contemplating the meaning of life and what make you you. And sometimes like today you wonder what a different person you’d have been if you had not experienced what you experienced.
I was in Melbourne for less than 6 months as I studied Music Therapy at uni. It will forever be a part of me. And even though coming back was bittersweet, over time I have learned to accept the change in course.
I would have loved to still work with music therapy but life had other plans. I am still learning how to navigate life. To navigate relationships and what that entails. What do you do when you’re not a homebody but your partner is? How do you tell them something without them running out the door right when you decide to be this vulnerable?
Authenticity is hard in conversations, talking about the mundane never seems to happen. Before you know it youre back to being a performer and find it hard to tell a boring story. The act of living out a day and just going home and cooking isnt good enough. Talking about the rain is boring too.
I’m trying to embrace the feeling and be intuitive, with the rain and my heart.
There is a palpable energy despite the uncertainty and the chaos, there’s an anticipation even before the release!
Happy Monday y’all!
Love, light, and all things bright.
